If you’ve got something nice to say…

The whole “what other people think of me is none of my business” line has never FULLY resonated with me.

I mean, I get it – a healthy self worth doesn’t depend on whether others approve / disapprove of who we are / what we do.

We’re not here to perform or “be good.”

WE ARE ALWAYS ENOUGH.

And yet – at the same time, we’re social creatures experiencing this life together.

It feels dang good to be seen and acknowledged for who we are and what we do along the way (and sometimes, even if initially painful, the critiques point out valuable insights too).

Today I want to say:

1. THANK YOU to Shannon for sending me this message (shared below). For taking time out of your day to share these words of encouragement. (And to all of you who have shared reviews of the podcast on iTunes, or elsewhere.)

Means SO MUCH.

2. To all of us – a kind word challenge! The next kind / encouraging / uplifting and sincere thing that pops into your brain – whether online, offline, or in your own home… SAY IT. SPILL IT. Let those words OUT.

May seem simple or even silly to you – but that message may be EXACTLY what that person needed to hear to keep going / push through the discomfort / feel a bit more confident / dream a little bigger / more fully accept themselves.

When THAT happens… we ALL benefit.

So, thanks. ❤️ .

“Hi Nikki, I listen to your podcast, which I absolutely love.

After listening to one of your recent podcast episodes, it could have been in the “How to squash self doubt”, but I’ve listened to 4 of your episodes today in my travels so it could have been a different one, you asked people to reach out about your book, which I know you have written one yet but absolutely will.

I guess I just wanted to send a little note to say I can’t wait to read what you create and perhaps listen to it on audible as I find your words are delivered so perfectly.

Your stories I find are just what I always need, they are Divine Breadcrumbs, memos of relation; from one biz Mum to another, and I hope that it’s something that enters the stratosphere soon-ish. ‘It doesn’t need to be perfect – it just needs to be shared.

With love and thanks,
Shannon

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This life is precious.

This life is precious.

Last night I learned that a fellow TCU alum (who I had the sincere pleasure of “teaching” as a grad student) passed after a long journey with brain cancer.

We say this a lot, don’t we?… but she really was a pure spark — her light was a genuine encouragement to just about everyone who crossed her path.

Her life on earth exemplifies that quote “it’s not about the years in the life, but the life in the years.” (Or something.)

Her life has me reflecting on my own today, which prompted me to invite you to do the same.

If you were to flash forward to your own memorial service — or, say, your FB wall in the days following your transition — what would you want your loved ones to say about how you showed up in your life? For your family, for your friends, for your dreams, for you?

The natural follow up Q there:

What will you do today to embody THAT version of you?

Maybe it’s setting the phone down and paying extra attention to your kiddos.

Maybe it’s checking in with a friend who’s been on your heart.

Maybe — just MAYBE — it’s putting pen to paper to share what’s on your heart and mind (say, in the form of your first book?).

Whatever it is that just popped into your brain, no matter how silly, insignificant, big, or bold it may seem…

Do the dang thing, friend.

You deserve to live that “someday” life today. This life is precious. ❤️

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Supporting Local Businesses

I got a massage this afternoon.

While enjoying the relaxation of said massage, I felt a bit spoiled. Like — really Nik?

You dropped your kiddos off at school, met with your (amazing / new) personal trainer, had a call with your brilliant friend you’ve hired to support you in biz *while a team of three lovely humans cleaned your house* and now YOU need a break?

That was the mean girl voice.

The wise woman voice quickly stepped up to say “YES. Isn’t it SWEET to be able to support my fellow small business owners (most local, women, moms) in this way?”.

The owner of Dekie’s preschool.

My trainer (who I can’t help but spill online business ideas to ;)).

My friend and accountability buddy helping me through my season of focus.

The veteran who just started her cleaning company.

The masseuse who has the overhead of a physical storefront.

Those are just some of the transactions I’ve made today.

What’s my point here?

WE NEED EACH OTHER, TEAM.

Small biz helps the world go round.

And whether it’s cash, card, check, or wire, money is a TOOL — a ticket or a key that unlocks a mutually beneficial value exchange.

No more, no less.

Money comes in, and money goes out.

We don’t have to feel weird about it.

We can choose to feel REALLY GOOD about it.

In the comments here, tell me: What’s one of your fave local business to support and why?

I’d love to hear who’s making YOUR world go round. 🌎🌍🌏

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We’re after a feeling.

We’re always + only + ever going after a FEELING.

A couple weeks ago (or was it last week?) B wrote me a love note on a tiny purple post-it.

As a result, I flipped out with hugs and aws and gratitude for the sweet gesture, took a pic, and shared it here with YOU in a post that starts with “We’re doing alright, moms.” ….and we are :)

After school yesterday he came into my office, chatted for a bit, then left and came back to stick this gem on the table.

[Sidenote: he made it with a label maker we’ve had since I was in elementary school. He found it in my boxes at my parents’ house last summer. Proof my love of school and office supplies runs deep and transcends generations.]

Here’s what I what I want to note about this micro-moment in time:

I didn’t *ask* B to write me a love note (like I would shamelessly do on my birthday, mother’s day, etc.)

He was INSPIRED to because of the FEELING he experienced last time he did it (loved, appreciated, celebrated, proud).

My Q for you / me today:

What makes YOU feel loved, appreciated, celebrated, proud, strong, sexy, smart, [insert desirable adjective here]?

Are you doing those things?

If you find yourself getting tripped up on the PROCESS of the doing (and thus, resisting the eff out of it), keep your eyes on the prize — the feeling you’ll experience once you’ve DONE the thing.

TANGIBLE EXAMPLES:

Instead of thinking, “ack I have to write that email today,” remember how amazing it FEELS to share what’s on your heart + mind with your corner of the internet.

Instead of thinking, “mannnn I don’t wanna work out today,” remember how proud of yourself you FEEL when you push through physical resistance and remember what your body is capable of.

I saw a recent post from @glennondoyle talking about how she doesn’t love writing – she loves having WRITTEN.

And it’s so true.

We’re chasing the FEELING we get once we’ve done the thing.

So that’s the challenge. For any given task – get clear on what you’re REALLY after (the feeling) and set your sights on that.

Once you do that, the I-don’t-wanna style resistance won’t stand a chance. 💥

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My Fave Decision-Making Trick

Decisions, decisions. 🤔

One of my fave ways to break a decision “tie” (what do I want for dinner? which flavor of Spark do I want today? what should we name our firstborn child?) is to have someone I love pretend to pick for me. ☝️✌️

If I’m excited by their pick, I know that’s the right one. If I’m disappointed / feeling my inner rebel rise up, I know it’s not. 🙅🏻‍♀️

Ever tried that? 🤔

You can get the same effect by flipping a coin — choice A is heads, choice B is tails. 💰

Whatever you try, note your bod’s reaction to that result and TRUST IT. ❤️

We sometimes (often?) like to “say” we’re confused or unsure, but in almost all cases, we know. Even if we have to give the truth a little extra time to bubble up, WE KNOW. 💫

Next time you find yourself in an option pickle, give this trick a try. ☝️✌️

If you still feel like you reeeeeally don’t know (I get it, I get it…), remember that:

  1. You have permish to change your mind. 🎟
  2.  Sometimes (and by “sometimes” I mean “pretty much all the times”) even the “wrong” choice ends up being just right.

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